How to Escape a Zombie Attack

Zombies beware! The human race is getting ready for Z-Day! (Well, not exactly.) After watching a number of zombie movies (special mention goes to George A. Romero's 1968 masterpiece "Night of the Living Dead") and the Fox series "The Walking Dead", I'm convinced that the world should prepare for Z-Day.

A Zombie is a reanimated human corpse who feed on human flesh, often specifically, the brain. Sounds scary, right? Just like vampires, they could just very well be working underground waiting for the perfect time to come out and take over the world. So, for now, what can we do to prepare? With that in mind, I have come up with a list of things to do to survive a zombie attack.

Should you wake up one day, and find yourself surrounded by brain-hungry zombies, the first thing you should do is to find yourself a pretty comfy place to stay. The shopping mall is a pretty popular choice. Do take note that zombies love the city for they know that there would be lots of people to eat out there. However should you decide not to venture outdoors, lock yourself up at home, but please avoid windows.

Arm your self up. Preferred weapons include baseball bats, high-powered guns (stock up on bullets), axes and chainsaws. Never use your hands in battle. You can get bitten by 'em evil scums. Once you get bitten, you would never have the chance to use this list ever.

Should you find yourself in the presence of a zombie, you have two options: you can either hit them on the head (but please, don't miss!) or if you are unarmed, just run away like a madman. Important reminder though, always be sure to wear comfy footwear. Leather shoes are a no-no. And if you are unprepared for battle, just run away. There are conflicting reports on whether zombies can run or not. But to be sure, run away as fast as you can. I'm not sure if you can outrun a zombie. So choose your battles wisely.

Heroes became heroes for a reason. But for a zombie invasion, choose to save yourself first. No one will remember you saving someone from a zombie.  Don't be a statistic.

And finally, if you can't beat them, just join them. Another way to survive a zombie attack is to just act like one. Drench yourself with blood and guts from a corpse and act like a brain-dead looney by walking like a zombie. If don't know how to do a zombie walk, try to remember the time you got very drunk. That would be a good start. Imitate and observe their every move. But of course, be very aware of the weather. Don't go out in the rain. The blood you have so carefully placed in your body would just wash out and make you very vulnerable for an attack.

Its better to be prepared than be surprised when Z-Day finally comes. Print this list and post it on your refrigerator door. Stay safe and go beat 'em evil zombies.

* Disclaimer:
The author is not responsible for any unsuccessful attempt in surviving a zombie attack. Z-Day or zombie attacks may or may not happen in your lifetime.